saluto to Carmen Joseph LaBello

This past weekend Carmen LaBello, Sr. passed away.  It was an honor to be able to sing at his memorial service.  I have been moved and inspired by how he lived as an artist and a man of God, offering his brilliance, his creative joy, and his heart to our local church.   This poem is an impressionistic take on the part of his life that I had the privilege to observe, and what I learned from the memorial service.  Many of us church artists have much to learn from his legacy.

a giant

small of stature

a rainbow of paint on his apron

remarkably steady open hands

broad smile and warm Italian countenance

a throwback to Renaissance days

he might have filled galleries

but chose to paint his love of life and God and family

onto the easel of the church

such an eye

capturing reality with accuracy

re-fashioning it with dexterity

an impeccable link from eye to brain

to imagination to hand

and gigantic heart

warming the room by his presence

filling the space with color

shape, shade and perspective

and a Tuscan command of the art of living

his life a masterwork

his community his gallery

splashing color and joy

wherever his brush

his chisel

his smile

and the lively art of conversation

would take him

ah where he arrives now

there must be

canvas-perfetto

and brushes-delicato

and oh

the colors of the light

Buon viaggo, Carmen.

does God whisper

I wrote a short poem for this two minute film that a few of us at the WCA created and produced--
Have you ever had this kind of experience in your own life?

overconfidence

(March11): I posted this poem a week ago.  Now in the light of the Japan earthquake and tsunami, it's a bit chilling to me.


overconfidence


We think that we know

more than the milennia.

That we have outpaced

the aeons. Outgrown

the ages. The curvature

of the earth smiles. Comets

laugh. The galaxies

wink.  Not so fast, the nebulae

whisper. Not so fast.

vapors

I'm learning how strong the connection is between trust and healing...

He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them.  And he was amazed at their lack of faith.
   --Mark 6:5-6

vapors

if no faith could be found

when you passed through a town

miracles would be in short supply

Lord you must have worked so hard

wiping your brow

trying to turn over the sputtering engine of healing

on empty fumes of trust

when there wasn’t enough

and when the last vapors of faith dried up

blowing away in a cloud of doubt

did you feel the healing slip away

did you sense the lights of hope go out

oh the frustration in your eyes

when you had to pack up 

and move on

and the sick

just stayed there

sick

roll ahead 

two thousand years 

to now

here we are

eons away from those dusty roads 

can you find a speck of trust

in us?

the desert path

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.  (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Years ago I had an opportunity to go to the desert to seek guidance from God.

It wasn't the exactly the Egyptian wilderness of the Desert Fathers of ancient days.  It was…well… a California state park, complete with groomed trails, guides, and tourists in Hawaiian shirts and sandals. But ever since my wife Corinne and I had arrived in the Golden State for a much-needed vacation, I had the uncanny sense that I was supposed to take a side trip into the desert. I wondered if God might speak to me in some way—a sort of “burning bush” that might guide my choices at a very confusing crossroads.

I arrived in the park and walked the path, taking in rock formations, the sky, the desert vibe, letting my thoughts percolate.  After a while the trail led up a hill and toward the top I could make out a shape like a cross. This is it, I thought.  I hiked up the rest of the way full of expectation, senses heightened. Something significant was here.

I clambered up the hill, anticipation growing with every step.  I reached the crest, and the vista of the desert land opened up gloriously before me. I approached what turned out to be a cross-shaped sign, and the message came into view:

I laughed at myself and my overblown expectations.  It had been posted by the Park Service for the safety of the tourists! 

But then I thought further… maybe there’s a message for me here anyway.

I had followed one career path, one chosen ministry, for decades. Recently the terrain had changed significantly, leaving me uncertain how to proceed.  For months I had been mulling over the unsettling idea of diverting from the path I had followed for so long.  Compounding the angst of the moment, Corinne was now wrestling with some serious health issues. So here at the top of the hill, my encounter with this wooden sign seemed like more than a coincidence.  I decided to follow the metaphor with my feet.  I stayed on the trail. I hiked back down, and continued further on. The path narrowed, becoming rockier, increasingly dry and desolate, like the surface of the moon.  Nothing could grow here.  Off in the distance, the trail wound up another hill, far steeper, positively treacherous.  I stopped and looked carefully at the scene.

And somewhere inside I sensed God’s voice saying, No matter how narrow and desolate your path toward the future may seem now, no matter how rocky and fraught with dangers,

please…. Stay On The Trail. 

And I listened.  My spirit resonated.

Several years later, by God’s grace I’m still on the path, staying the course that He has carved out for me, as He continues, step by step, to provide in surprising, unforeseen ways. And my flimsy faith is slowly growing into something that might just survive even when the trail is narrowest and the terrain most rocky.

And, so far as I can see and imagine, as Robert Frost might say…

“…that has made all the difference.”

Good Shepherd, Perfect Guide,

As we travel on, help us see Your navigating hand, Your guidance and provision…the perfection of Your vision.  We submit our every hope to You. Align us with Your Spirit, and hear our longing as we ask, O Lord, for wisdom.   

whoosh

Imagine actually being there in real time when Jesus was walking on the earth, among crowds, healing them one by one...


whoosh


i imagined You yesterday--

You with a crowd

one at a time

hand on shoulders

forehead

top of head

grasping both hands with a strong firm grip. 

looking squarely into eyes  

waiting

listening

sensing

alert

do you believe I can do this?

holy eyes searching the inner landscape

sensing where shreds of faith could be found

within the sick soul

live silence

search mode

looking deep into eye windows

the crowd on their toes

unbreathing

unspoken lightning fast dialog

Jesus to cells

inquiry

response

faith/fear

balance/imbalance

analyzed spirit computations

cell to cell system to soul

deep calling to deep

assessment

cutting through

mining true trust

activating healing

deep well resources

is there enough there?

the faith within

answers the inquiring gaze

connect

whoosh

rapid rush of healing

immediate

complete

and

exhale

testing

confirming

healing accomplished

loving gaze

smile

child, go in peace

remember this

details

This poem is a reminder about God’s careful concern for the details of each one of our lives, day to day...today...now.

...even the very hairs on your head are all numbered.     

                         Matt. 10: 29-30

details

that bird matters

that tree matters that holds the weight of the bird

the nest matters because it protects and insulates

the bird feeder matters because it supplies a measure of daily seed

every leaf on that tree counts

because of the balance of CO2 and O2

taken in and breathed out

by every earthly soul i love

that shelter by the road

matters

because it surrounds and keeps warm those souls

those souls i love

in the dead of winter

every car every bus every truck matters

propelling the souls from here to there

this street to that street

that road

that railway 

creating a smooth path

for the cars, trucks and trains 

as my beloved 

come and go about their lives

the space

the distance 

the margin 

between every car truck and train 

on every road and every railway counts

because it keeps them from colliding at high speed

thereby keeping intact and safe 

for one more day 

souls i deeply love

not one bird

not one tree

one leaf

not one nest

one seed

not one home

one shelter

one road

car or bus

not one train

not one soul

ever 

ever

escapes my notice

and my concern

between every line

behind every scene

child

learn to be still

learn to see me in the quiet

with your soul eyes

you will begin to feel it

you will begin to understand

this pathway

This song lyric is for those who are on a tough road, for whom perseverance is a daily decision.


Lord this pathway may not be easy
but it's where I'm meant to be
in Your presence You will keep me
as my mind is stayed on Thee

I will follow through the canyons
over mountains, across the seas
You will find me in Your footsteps
till I'm finally home and free

Lord don't let me be dissuaded

from Your holy work in me
till I reach Your destination
and at last I'm home and free

the man who kept on and kept on

A cautionary tale.....


There once was a man for whom performing and achieving were like eating a good meal. When he took on a project and did it well, he consumed the accolades and compliments in double portions of self-esteem.  He got sustenance from it. 

He knew that times were hard and people all around him were going hungry for lack of recognition and significance, and he feared starvation to come.  So he piled on—accepted more and more servings of opportunity onto his plate, shoveled in more praise and applause, against the uncertain tide of the future.  It was like sitting down to one huge, constant feast.  Soon he was gorged, gulping down requests and opportunities, stuffing them into his mouth until they ran down his chin and he could hardly breathe.  He couldn’t stop.

Before long he was violently obese and could only get around with a double-sized wheelchair.  People had to push him through doors and squeeze him into elevators, and he needed a supersized car to get around.  But every time another performance or project came along, he gulped it in--he couldn’t turn it down. 

“After all,” he said, while six people tried to cram him through the door of the Emergency Room…

“You never know when times will get lean and there will be famine.”  

peace

8:00am. We're socked in with snow.  Before the plows come, nothing can move.  The stillness and peace reminds me of this song God gave me years ago.  It still has a healing, quieting effect on my soul. You may know this song..it's called Peacemaker.  I've double-spaced the words so we can take them in more slowly, letting God speak through them.


peacemaker

fear taker

soul soother

storm smoother

light shiner

lost finder

cloud lifter

deliverer

heart toucher

truth lover

who other could be

fear taker

peacemaker to me


mind clearer

sigh hearer

hand holder

consoler

wound binder

tear drier

strength giver

provider

heart healer

kind Father

who other could be

my Savior

peacemaker to me


let Your peace rule in my heart

let Your kindness fill my thoughts

let Your strength secure my soul

let Your peace take hold in me

let Your wisdom guide my will

Your compassion fill this place

let my anxious thoughts be still

let Your peace rule in my heart


I need You

I need You

I need You in my life

I trust You

believe You

I need You in my life

I know

entanglement

This is about clearing and cutting away chaos in order to see clearly and to move forward...and then... to do it again...and again..



this stuff

clings to me like a vine
binds my time
saps my strength
my heart
my mind
renders me immobilized

how do i untangle it
clear my head
prune my soul

it's about letting go

goodbye to old crutches
to just in cases
to fear of lack
the urgent temptation
to put it all back

this has dropped me to my knees
i have to go to raw extremes
the day has come to clear the deck
to cut away chaff
chip away at the stash
and blast my way through
pluck pull
and chase down
to bag
to burn
delete
until the pruning is complete

never again to ignore
the gnawing need

to weed

ready to believe

A song lyric about my own up and down struggle to trust God like a child.  Like a kid wanting to jump into his dad's arms, vascillating, hesitating. He's there, he's ready, arms extended.  Why, after decades of being safely caught, do I still hold back?

can i walk not by sight
but by faith in your light
can i trust an unseen hand
to lead me where i've never been
can i soar through the years
breathing prayer
instead of fear

i'm ready to believe
beyond what i can see
restore to me the faith of a child

you would speak words of peace
captive souls would be released
you would call the faint of heart
to venture out to where you are
when you ask
do you dare
to follow me anywhere

i'm ready to believe

beyond what i can see

restore to me the faith of a child 

high ground

This is for all of us who are facing a challenge that demands our everything--every resource, every shred of prayer.

we have a struggle on our hands

a battle for body and soul

so now we must raise our game

to the intensity of the athlete

of the olympian

of Paul

not merely begging for mercy

but shouting instead of God's sufficiency

it is now time to grapple

for the victory of God's peace

for the high ground of relaxed trust in the Provider

for the foundation of faith to win the day

instead of crumbling fear

for the braced body to be loosed of its chains

the power of God is something we eat and drink

we swallow and absorb it into our bloodstream

no longer cowering in the night

no longer buried in spirit

we will not be mastered by anything

we do not run aimlessly

we do not box helplessly at thin air

God You made the vessels of our bodies

the world filled them

and we absorbed it deep down

we now allow You through the currency of TRUST

to excise all poisons

to renew and regenerate

body and soul

we invite our rebirth

we welcome our cleansing

the jettison of all confusion

sabotage and subterfuge

never will the boot heel of fear crush us underfoot

never will dismay have its way

never will despair foul the air

never will our resolve dissolve

our hearts will instead expand

our souls will stretch but will never break in two

bitterness will not gain a foothold in our spirit

joy will not be strangled by weeds of dark thoughts

love will not be starved by regret and resentment

we submit ourselves to the hard work of healing

the discipline of letting go

allowing Your undaunted power

to heal and to liberate

pushing apart the flimsy doubt of the moment

all to Jesus we surrender

to obedience with abandon

to exuberant submission

to believing in the realization

of the perfect restoration

of this body

this heart

this soul

this grateful soul

ghost town

I wrote this for everyone who feels lonely in leadership, or like they have to start from scratch with next to nothing. Or... even the ravages of a personal loss.




well well

you and i are the last ones standing

it's quiet here isn't it

among the twisted girders

and the charred infrastructure

of what was

a bustling destination town

tumbleweeds rolling across broken up boulevards

abandoned four by fours on pothole parking lots

an occasional lost crow passing overhead

so here we are

you and me

what will we do

we will find a hammer or two

scoop up some nails

round up some old boards with a little life left in them

and we'll build a scaffold

we'll gather up some scrap tools

and get to work

and we will make this ghost town into a chapel

a house of prayer

and when we're all prayed up

we'll forge this chapel into a shelter

for the lost ones and the refugees

as they pass through in the storm

and find a home

rough around the edges

but solid and warm

one by one

little by little

this tumble down old ramshackle of a town

will rise again

and become

the city of God