entanglement

This is about clearing and cutting away chaos in order to see clearly and to move forward...and then... to do it again...and again..



this stuff

clings to me like a vine
binds my time
saps my strength
my heart
my mind
renders me immobilized

how do i untangle it
clear my head
prune my soul

it's about letting go

goodbye to old crutches
to just in cases
to fear of lack
the urgent temptation
to put it all back

this has dropped me to my knees
i have to go to raw extremes
the day has come to clear the deck
to cut away chaff
chip away at the stash
and blast my way through
pluck pull
and chase down
to bag
to burn
delete
until the pruning is complete

never again to ignore
the gnawing need

to weed

ready to believe

A song lyric about my own up and down struggle to trust God like a child.  Like a kid wanting to jump into his dad's arms, vascillating, hesitating. He's there, he's ready, arms extended.  Why, after decades of being safely caught, do I still hold back?

can i walk not by sight
but by faith in your light
can i trust an unseen hand
to lead me where i've never been
can i soar through the years
breathing prayer
instead of fear

i'm ready to believe
beyond what i can see
restore to me the faith of a child

you would speak words of peace
captive souls would be released
you would call the faint of heart
to venture out to where you are
when you ask
do you dare
to follow me anywhere

i'm ready to believe

beyond what i can see

restore to me the faith of a child 

high ground

This is for all of us who are facing a challenge that demands our everything--every resource, every shred of prayer.

we have a struggle on our hands

a battle for body and soul

so now we must raise our game

to the intensity of the athlete

of the olympian

of Paul

not merely begging for mercy

but shouting instead of God's sufficiency

it is now time to grapple

for the victory of God's peace

for the high ground of relaxed trust in the Provider

for the foundation of faith to win the day

instead of crumbling fear

for the braced body to be loosed of its chains

the power of God is something we eat and drink

we swallow and absorb it into our bloodstream

no longer cowering in the night

no longer buried in spirit

we will not be mastered by anything

we do not run aimlessly

we do not box helplessly at thin air

God You made the vessels of our bodies

the world filled them

and we absorbed it deep down

we now allow You through the currency of TRUST

to excise all poisons

to renew and regenerate

body and soul

we invite our rebirth

we welcome our cleansing

the jettison of all confusion

sabotage and subterfuge

never will the boot heel of fear crush us underfoot

never will dismay have its way

never will despair foul the air

never will our resolve dissolve

our hearts will instead expand

our souls will stretch but will never break in two

bitterness will not gain a foothold in our spirit

joy will not be strangled by weeds of dark thoughts

love will not be starved by regret and resentment

we submit ourselves to the hard work of healing

the discipline of letting go

allowing Your undaunted power

to heal and to liberate

pushing apart the flimsy doubt of the moment

all to Jesus we surrender

to obedience with abandon

to exuberant submission

to believing in the realization

of the perfect restoration

of this body

this heart

this soul

this grateful soul

ghost town

I wrote this for everyone who feels lonely in leadership, or like they have to start from scratch with next to nothing. Or... even the ravages of a personal loss.




well well

you and i are the last ones standing

it's quiet here isn't it

among the twisted girders

and the charred infrastructure

of what was

a bustling destination town

tumbleweeds rolling across broken up boulevards

abandoned four by fours on pothole parking lots

an occasional lost crow passing overhead

so here we are

you and me

what will we do

we will find a hammer or two

scoop up some nails

round up some old boards with a little life left in them

and we'll build a scaffold

we'll gather up some scrap tools

and get to work

and we will make this ghost town into a chapel

a house of prayer

and when we're all prayed up

we'll forge this chapel into a shelter

for the lost ones and the refugees

as they pass through in the storm

and find a home

rough around the edges

but solid and warm

one by one

little by little

this tumble down old ramshackle of a town

will rise again

and become

the city of God

genesis 3:8 (from Free Fall)

Free Fall is a short film based on Genesis 2-3 (see link).  What must it have felt like to be the Creator at the moment right before the world fell, and His heart broke?

it was the cool part of the day

and God was walking

walking

through the land he made

his ecosystem

so magnificently put together

about to erode

about to implode

before his sad and timeless eyes

he took one long last look

and kissed the innocence

goodbye




Free Fall by Prolifik Films.  Written by Greg Ferguson.
link to Free Fall video

first light (from a thousand questions)

A Thousand Questions (see link on this page) is a short film that tracks the journey of a soul to understand the rampant pain and injustice in the world.  But the film begins at the Very Beginning.  It was an absolute joy to write this piece and to try to get inside God's mind and heart, and to see it come together as a visual worship explosion on the screen.



back before creation

before the formation
of all that is

there was

You

God

Yourself

perfect

complete

needing nothing

but did you look out into that empty sky

with a lonesome ache for something more

something yet to be born

unformed

were you reaching for us

were you reaching

for me?

let it BE

you said

and with that one command it was all underway

light and energy

gravity synchronicity

orbits and galaxies

comets hurtling down galactic highways

a space time ballet

a thousand years but a day

a brand new planet

hot with the fires of creation

life under construction

cells replication

DNA code

imbedded commands of how to grow

make yourself at home

woman and man

walk the length of the land

scale the mountains

run the rivers

drink from the springs

let your free will wander down the pathways

of this garden

called

Eden

                   

o Lord we ask

you who gave the universe

and planted thoughts in human hearts

you hear the groans of every soul

and in this room I know you feel them

Lord we bow before you now

may we breathe your presence here

like Solomon before we ask

for victory or more success

o Lord we ask

we ask for wisdom

help us Lord as we go forth

to find your strength along the way

like at the Red Sea where Moses stood

we hold our breath

and take a step

o Lord we ask

to feel your power

like Paul was blinded by your light

and the scales fell from his eyes

let Your presence make us tremble

and move our hearts to move the world

o Lord we ask

for transformation

and Father as we journey on

we trust your navigating hand

we trust your guidance and protection

the perfection of your vision

we submit our hopes to you

separate the wheat from chaff

and now align us with your Spirit

and hear our longing when we ask

o Lord we ask

we ask for wisdom

for transformation

to feel your power

amen

a prayer for the new year

God I give you 

last year

with its close calls

rescues

traps and sorrows

collapses and renewals

crises and joys

stains and scars

and I hope somehow

I lived it well

in your wise eyes.

I give you this new year

with all its bright and shine

caution and hope

I lift it high up to you now

when it has barely broken the horizon

take it up into your hands

along with my soul

look them over with your keen eye

trim away the chaff

the chaos

the reticence

and re-fire me to go

poised at the gate

fueled with hope

blackened with the burn marks from last year

but rich with the hard-won lessons

and ready to go again

as the planet is ready

for a new revolution around the sun  

there is much to learn,

adventures to welcome and not to fear

as I step onto your proving ground

knowing you post your angels everywhere

and that the same providence

that guided me through the last wild ride

is all still there

ever aware

on the watch

and worthy of my second-by-second trust.

O God

say the word

I’m ready to go

into the rising new year

even though

my knees might be shaking

a little 

from the old one.

this story we pass along

this story

first whispered as a secret

then shouted from housetops

inscribed on parchment
scrawled into books

hewn out of stone

painted on cathedral ceilings

played out on film
set to a million songs

bought, sold out, misused, trampled,

burned out, resuscitated

fought for, died for

carved in human flesh and blood

and all of us will write

    the next chapter

come to me

[The Magi] went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was.  When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. --Matt. 2:9-10

Star watchers, then and now

Every year we recount the story of the ancient astronomers, who, reading the signs in the sky, traveled hundreds of miles to find the Christ child whom they sought with all their souls, so they could see Him with their own eyes and pour out their honor with a torrent of exotic valuables.

Several years ago I wrote a song for a Christmas Eve service, and the lyrics still haunt me.  Because I can imagine how many souls on the planet will be looking up into the night sky this Christmas, metaphorically or literally, looking for some star or sign that those old stories are true.  Wanting to see something luminous that will convince them that there really is a God who is truly with us, and who knows that we exist. 

COME TO ME

I got a Christmas card today

I couldn’t read the poetry

I couldn’t take the phrases in

because my mind began to spin

on sentiment and mystery

and how they square with history

the current world reality

and God it’s all confusing me

it’s getting harder to believe

when Bethlehem is under siege

when angels dance on TV screens

and people steal from manger scenes

when good news is so seldom heard

and peace on earth is just a word

good will a relic from the past

how long can this confusion last

every star is out tonight

shining that unearthly light

and once again I scan the skies

with forty million other eyes

searching for that ancient star

listening for that distant choir

reaching out through time and space

to hear Your voice

to see Your face

I know you came a million miles

that You became a tiny child

You came to earth to set us free

Jesus hear me asking--

come to me

angel

you don’t know i exist

i love you nonetheless

given to shield you

bonded to defend you

by an ironclad promise

which I will never break

sense me in the air

almost audible

always there

on high alert when you fear

all ears when you pray

strong arms when you fall

sworn to deliver you

safe and sound

from here 
to There

shepherd

one keeper of animal souls

on his anxious midnight mission

trekking the dark hills and flats

over rocky ground where nothing grows

but so much can get lost

alert with watery vision

pupils squinting

searching

picturing the terrified eyes

of the one lost out there

cut off from the flock

imagining its fear

its hunger

and the deep lonely of its breathing

wandering clueless but anxious

helpless

the flock will be all right

they have each other

but what about this disoriented one

has panic set in

is it dehydrated

is it on its side

fallen

vulnerable to predatory creatures

i must not rest

i must not flag in energy

i must not sit down

nor despair

I must scan the horizon

check every fleck

every distant disturbance

until I find it

comfort it

and bring it home

crusades (from fast forward)

May we have a moment of silence

for the unspeakable violence

of the Great Crusades

the Church’s version of a Holy War

complete with rivers of blood

rape and torture

by all accounts

not our finest hour--

who will speak the truth to power?

sweet morning light

i will trust
through the darkest night
what i knew to be true
when i last saw daylight


i move by faith and not by sight
till at last i see
what you promised to me
on the distant horizon


the first sign
of sweet morning light

enter the monasteries (from fast forward)

                                                                                  

Iron church bells 
multicolored stained glass

icons of angels

the blessed crucifix

candles incense

eternal flame

monks and sisters

chanting out the Holy Name

lives of saints and broken bread

priests and presence

vows of silence

enter the monasteries

learning the practices of the presence of God

celibate, set apart

a community unto itself

disciplines of the Spirit

going deep

deep

into the world of the Holy

the soil that gave birth to

St. Francis

Brother Lawrence

Mother Teresa

instruments of your peace

the seasons festivals common prayer

the Spirit that hovers in the atmosphere  

the launch (from fast forward)

The pneuma the breath the Spirit

a holy hurricane howling through every soul

behold my Church I’m sending you

now GO!

founded on the promise of the Cross

set on the shoulders of a man called the rock

spread like a good disease

through the Holy City of Jerusalem

all possessions held in common

no one called their property their own

bread broken together in homes

awe and wonder

God’s new thunder

FAST FORWARD

The gods are offended

the Empire incensed

who are these who

   will not bow the knee

   will not pay the fee

   will not play the game

   will not compromise the Name

and so it begins

the stoning of Stephen

exiles and crucifixions

victims in the coliseum

as Jesus’ flock

becomes food for lions

in the extreme sport

of persecution

until

one Roman king

sees things differently

and blesses the community

with immunity

an end to persecution

and the organism of Jesus’ body becomes...

...an institution

invisible ones (from fast forward)

I want to ask you my Church

how have you survived?

what mighty engine keeps your cells alive

what great heartbeat has sustained you

when pain contorts you

and sin stains you

through the trough of human sorrow

who has lifted you

to tomorrow

there are

and always have been

the invisible ones

who never made a name

rejected fame

the brick and pillars

the crossbeams of the church

they have stood up for justice

stooped down to serve

reached out to heal

sheltered the defenseless

mothered the motherless

lifted the depressed

and loved the despised

it matters that they lived

it matters how they died

it matters that they answered the call

without them

the foundations would groan and crack

and finally fall