give us this day

Our Father in heaven

Our Father in heaven

Holy be your name

Fill the profane

With the sacred the numinous

The mysterious

That which the seers and seekers

Have sought for centuries

And find now just within their reach

Just beyond the power of speech

to explain to describe this pearl of great price

That monks and kings alike

have sold everything to obtain

Letting go of the world for the ultimate prize

They gladly gave it all to gain.

Your Kingdom come

Into the dark alleys and the gray slums and the green suburbs

The gleaming cities and centers of power

The concrete streets where the gunshots ring in the dead of night

Flood us all with your clarity

Your brilliant light

Would you set us right

O Father set us right

Your will be done

When hope bleeds out

And dubious trust gives way to doubt

And character slides down into darker greed

And self-absorption drowns out the aching need

Injustice rears its ugly head

And feeds upon the helpless and the innocent

And conscience is numb and remorse is next to dead

O God lift the bowed heads and breathe out hope

Into the parched lungs that need it most

Bring us safely back into the fold
Restore to us the joy of old we used to hold

Bring every last one safely home

Your will be done

Your will be done

Give us this day

To make the most of

To work to help to love to learn

To lead to meet the need

To give our all to give our utmost

The best hours of every day

The best dreams the highest aspirations

The great expectations

Of a world made brand new

Of a kingdom built and forged by You

The city with foundations

Of redemption reconstruction of every beating heart

Lives given the chance to restart

Be reborn reclaimed renewed

Unfolding ever growing ever learning

To be yours to reach for you

With body mind heart and soul

This our highest goal

This our fondest thought

Capturing our imagination

Overcoming our hesitation

The vision we can almost see

Around every corner

The power the glory

Forever and ever

No matter what we face

Between the now and what is to be

Come what may

Give us this day

Give us this day

--

worship under the microscope

is there any worship in me really

is there a heart that searches up to You

(yes daily I instinctively  give you that)

is there a lifting up of you in my Spirit

You- the one that is true

You- the one that takes it  all willingly in

and finds ways to sneak comfort into my insides hourly

even when I can only stand to have my heart broken once a day

and the quota is exceeded



even when I am so weak I brittle up to You

and bleed out my requests daily and paltry up my thanks

throwing you offhanded perfunctories

as if they were somehow significant



this is worship?

how often do I dimple my knees with actual floor friction

how often do I still my overcooked heart

and serve you up something real

how often do I even enter into the anatomy of thanks

deeper than surface

deeper than skin

deeper than the shallow end of the pool

deeper than tossed off words

scrawled onto paper and forgotten

deeper than the paper they’re casually scribbled onto


without a surgery of thanks how does it become real

I should at least ruffle it up

and not let it be so clean and buttoned down



and what do You see in me.

why do you accept my raw and selfish scrawlings

as any worship at all?

--

whisper

there it is again:

that nudge
the flash of inspiration
an odd impression
a whispered word-- 

could there be meaning to what you heard?

a feeling
a caution
a rush of conviction
the hint of a hint of a radical vision
the swerve that avoided the head-on collision
the impulse
the instinct
the craziest dream

is this all as random as it might have seemed?

or is there a thread...
a purpose behind it all?

how do you know?
how can you tell?
is it wisdom?
Is it a warning?
is it anything at all?

a wakeup call
a smoke alarm
a friend with a needle track mark on her arm
the honk of a horn
the ring of a phone
the man with a sign that says 
broke and alone
a boulevard of bloodshot eyes
you know the look
you hear the sighs
a powerful pull in the dead of the night
to get up, to go out
and set something right

now hear this:

the relentless tick of a clock
the rapid fire beat of your heart
the end over end
acceleration of the years
as they pass
lightning fast

it all comes down to now


what will you do
will you step up
or will you back away
as though you never heard a thing

what will it be


it's your call

lessons from the ER

focus on one thing 
at a time. keep your eyes on the road. stay
away from the gps and the smartphone.

clarify your mind. simplify your agenda. 
be alert all around you. 
be here. 
undistracted. 
travel light. 
give yourself to the ones you love.

realize the real. 


jettison the chaff. 


live as though 
tomorrow 
is

unscripted.
  --

chaos for good

often
for God's sake
and for love's sake
you have to do
far more than you can
keep track of
keep clean
or keep under control

it's too hot
too messy
too chaotic
and you can't make peace with it
but there it is
searing in your spirit
so
you toss your hands in the air
take a very deep breath

and go with it
  --

sand castle

scores of bare feet shuffle by 
without pausing or noticing


but the lack of an audience
does not stifle their resolve
scuttle their plan
or compromise their precision


the project goes on
moving earth
grading 
sanding
smoothing 
polishing the finish work
to perfection


and then in a moment of silence
a goodbye
a joyful offering
to the tide
which
at a discreet hour
will greedily devour
this labor of pure love
leaving behind only this:


a satisfaction that cannot be washed away
    --

from "declarations"

right where i am
i will do all i can
to breathe God's life into my world
if not now...
  then when?
   --

surrender

if i am in fact
in a cocoon
i have to relinquish the right
to be a 
caterpillar
--

from "what if i"

what if i crucified
all my pride and upward striving
put an end to dreams of fame
bigger things and social climbing
made myself more teachable
reachable
invisible


would there be less of me
would i become a nobody
or would i finally be
the best of what You had in mind
for me


one finger at a time
loosen my hold on the pride that i cling to
and walk me by the hand
lower and lower
down to the places You go

cause i need to go with You
wherever you take me to
                --

raw material

take the bricks of
your sorrows
your experiences
your losses
your learnings
your heart
your art
and your recovery
and build a chapel
for the healing of many

pivotal question

Do you want to bless the world,
or do you want the world to bless you?


-maybe we only get to choose one of those two options...

a small shaky seed of trust

and protection arose.

help came forth.

the Presence sent agents of hope.

they skirmished with desolation

in high and hidden places.

they engaged destruction in every desolate valley,

every hallway of every hospital

every dank corner of every dark street

every bedroom of violation

every emergency room

every street of combat

every village of disease

and protection arose.

healing spread

help arrived

power burst forth.

the emissaries set up camp and kept vigil

envoys flew to danger zones.

rescuers emerged

pain was eased

comfort came

fears were soothed

ill intent stopped cold

paralysis loosed

mobility restored

children born healthy and able

the young were shown their dignity

given guidance

the spirit of the depressed lifted

the elderly were assigned honor and respect

the Presence felt in every pore of the planet

as help arose

to listen

to encourage

to heal

to reinforce.

mercy encircled the planet

a balm blanketing the earth

sobs were calmed

invisible embraces everywhere

food into empty stomachs

wounds bound up with care

touches gentle and inoffensive

empathy, sympathy poured like soothing rain

into feverish souls

the new Jerusalem swung open its doors

and souls poured in

heaven enriched,

earth soaked in joy

peace a river, mighty, smooth, flowing comfort

one prayer

one prayer

and all this happened

one undecided soul

stopped doubting

and offered up

a small shaky seed of trust

let it be so

let it be so

let it be..

prayer in extremity

my soul and body and mind call out to you my God

with need running deeper than the dark river of chill and fear

my cells cry out to you

my mind impoverished without you

my thoughts fall short without your rush of wisdom

my soul a storm without your calming vision

my eyes stone blind unless I have your sight

my hearing dense and without comprehension

unless I have your voice

my heartbeat uncontrolled without your rhythm

your stabilizing influence your calm

to keep my spirit from flying apart
    --

platform

platform is a magnifier

an amplifier

small church make a soul want to be big

big church make a soul want to be huge

God is big

we are small
that is all