We among the living

Good morning Father God.

You must be weeping at what Your humans have done in Paris. What god are they worshiping who would demand that? What god is hungry for blood like that?

I think of the passage in scripture where You regretted having created humans when You saw how evil the deeds of man were (Genesis 6:5-7).

Regretted creating us. But wouldn't blow up the earth. Wouldn't erase it all. Out of compassion for what was still good, what humans would still be born. You couldn't remove the planet without ending humans who strove for the Good, for You. And that was too high a price to pay. You kept the planet. And so we get to be alive. But so do terrorists. Yet the scores who were killed in cold blood don't get to be alive.

What do we say about such things? They are unspeakable. But YOU are wonderful. To give us all life; to give us a shot at getting it right. What a mercy that is. You could have shut the globe down long ago-stopped the spinning. You could have ended Your anguish at what was happening before Your eyes. But You still believe in humanity enough to keep it going. Still. Amazing.

I'm glad to be among the living today. And I want to be a purveyor of the good and true and beautiful, and a describer of the sacred.

I can't do a thing to offset the horror of Paris. None of us can. But maybe we can pump something good into the world, something uplifting, something nourishing, something healing. 

I want to do that.

Easter sky

good morning Lord!
it is a good morning

because you ARE

bells are rung all over the world.
in every church
for us to hear
loud and clear

We have hope.

the air is fresh--
feels like
Presence.

so much i don't understand
about loved ones lost
about life, disease, death,
the natural course of things.

but what is true rings every bell

YOU
EMERGED
ALIVE

now you gladly
gleefully
turn on the sunlight
over the winter wetlands
soon the green shoots will soar past the gray.

the birchbark will light up
the birds will swoop and sing
a blue patch of sky opens up wide
around the clouds--
a smile from the upper reaches.

So
we can live freely in deep rooted joy
knowing there is infinite life
beyond what we thought to be
a closed gray system.

the blue is above
always above
the gray
and today
it is breaking through.

the light shines in the darkness;
the darkness
has not
will not
can not
overcome it.

Transforming Center - Good Friday

Every several months, I have an opportunity to sing at a Transforming Center event. The Transforming Center is an organization founded and led by author and spiritual director Ruth Haley Barton dedicated to the health of the spiritual lives of church leaders.

It’s refreshing to me, after so many years of singing to large crowds in huge rooms, to sing simply, usually without amplification, in a small space, with simple accompaniment, as souls are stilled and contemplative.

That chapel vibe draws me into the company of Jesus.  I used to hang out in empty chapels and cathedrals when I could. This is the next best thing to that silence. It’s communal. It’s pure in so many ways.

So much that could distract is stripped away.  It’s organic and without bells and whistles.  It’s meditative and peace-inducing.

Especially on Good Friday.  We walked around like a clump of pilgrims around the chapel, revisiting the Stations of the Cross. There were beautiful and simple iconic images representing Jesus' journey from his trial before Pilate, through the agonies of his walk to the cross, the horror of his crucifixion, and his death and burial.  It's amazing how in that little space, with those images, I can imagine myself there.

Less is more.  Less stimulation somehow results in more imagination, a more vivid picture.  An ability to be more engaged and present.  It's fascinating how that works.

Ahhhhh… grateful to be a part of something so simple and beautiful.

note to self

so...
self--

instructions for today:

breathe

breathe

and be happy inside

because your joy
is helpful
nutritious
and healing
to your loved ones

even
especially
when they suffer

and...
self:

trust
that our Helper is with us
at the ready when we need His immediate aid

and on the watch
even when we don't

bird feeder prayer

God, good morning.

Giver

Universal 

Cosmic 

All-creating 

All-encompassing 

Creative God.

God of grandeur, God of detail.

Aware God.

Protective God.

God who sees.

God who loves.

Observant God.

Lighter of the spark.

God who rouses.

Patient...

but passionate God.

God of times and seasons.

Animator of the grand universal flow.

and in no less detail or attention,

the flow of the blood and hormones

of each soul--

homeless, 

deep in illness

prostitute, hardened criminal,

child with cerebral palsy.

me.

Shepherd of each little sheep.

each puppy.

each infant.

each bird that crowds around the feeder.

whose idea was it that we plant and load a feeder

with seed, or to give us a feeder?

behind all of it, it must have been

and still is

YOU.

Maybe we are to load the feeder daily

to remind ourselves that You care about

the least little sparrow.

and You feed them.

through us or not.

they will be cared for.

the eyes of all wait upon Thee

(whether they know it or not)

and You give everything in its proper time

Author of peace

Generator of joy.

Easer of sorrow

humble kneeler down to serve

foot washer.

God of mysteries

and unsolvable riddles

Keeper of secrets of the universe

God of the great engine room

that powers all orbits and movement of galaxies

seasons and heartbeats

climates in good order

and climates in disarray

the God of patience and repair.

of planets

ecosystems

countries

families

and

human bodies

souls

the eyes of all wait upon Thee

even though some turn away and cannot look

because Your light is too bright

God who reaches

exerts

feels

longs

moves

grieves

shouts

weeps

regrets

sighs

picks up the pieces

God who stoops down to serve

cleans and washes

salves, restores

rebuilds

renews seasons

souls

unbreaks hearts

restores pulse

normalizes breathing

God who established weather patterns

who heaves deep sighs when we mess with them

God who rebuilds after the disaster

God who closes down summer

eases us with autumn

hardens the ground and grays the skies in winter

wakes us in spring

You are beyond description

there are not enough days or terrabytes

to capture even a microbe of who You are to us.

so silence is often our preferred communication

wonder is in our brains

and thanks is in our humbled hearts

thanks.

click scribble

God good morning
the light is rising
my eyes pry open
I sip the coffee
and begin to click the keys

in the early morning
on the keypad
there are no rules

I might flip over to pen and paper
to go deeper
a scribble of ink on a Moleskine
scrawling my heart out
opening a vein

click
scribble
click click

in return
YOU
open the doorway a crack
and I begin to sense You
in my instinct
on my radar

the space

the quiet of a lake
the woods
the desert
big sun
big sky
a deep night
a river alive
a rolling current
I reach
reach for You

wanting to go deeper
to get closer
to You
alive
not some cold distant version of You
packaged polished
and posted
on a billboard

but YOU
You with the bright sun
You with the big smile
and the unvarnished joy
unspun
running like the wind
coaxing me along

and then comes the calm

the calm
that rearranges my breath
the angels sing
and I don't want to move

still and open
to Your next word
from a world unknown

then the high pierce of my device alarm
shuts it all down
breaks it up
packs it up
back to earth
where the day
is already getting away

I close up
clean up
brush up
start up
and pull out
onto the pavement

while the holy mysteries
trail off in the rear view mirror
dissipating like dust
in my wake

see You tomorrow